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09/09/2010
09/03/2010
09/02/2010
An Unexpected Tear-Jerker
***Disclaimer*** Hindi ko alam kung saan galing ito, o kung totoong si Ramon Mendoza ba talaga ang sumulat. Sabi naman ni Bilat totoo daw na si Mendoza ang sumulat at totoo itong nangyari. Sa tono kase ng pagkasulat, at lapat ng kwento, parang pang-spam lang. Parang ang kulang lang 'e mga bantang nababasa natin sa ilalim ng chain mails, like: SEND THIS TO 1,500 PEOPLE OR YOU WILL DIE.
Pero like ko siya. Nakakaiyak talaga. Wala kong pakialam kung totoo ito o hindi. May katotohanan pa rin akong nakita sa buhay ng mga mag-aasawa at pamilya.
Read on.
Marriage
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6
08/30/2010
Down with the Capitol!!!
A couple of weeks ago, I got an invitation from kyusireader (Peter Sandico) to the Philippine Launching of Suzanne Collins' final installment to her Hunger Games series - Mockingjay.
I was never a fan of violent and gory YA literatures until I came across this series. It has turned me into a believer that you can appreciate a well-written post-apocalyptic novel for young readers, if the purpose, concept and themes are still as universal as the other books you have in your collection.
Besides, if Peter recommends it, who am I to say that I know better?
I just learned about the novel a couple of months ago. Nakalabas na ang Hunger Games at Catching Fire, kaya naman nung malapit ko nang matapos ang Hunger Games, pumunta na agad ako ng Powerbooks para kunin ang second book para 'di ako mabitin at makatulog ako ng maayos.
Un pala hindi. When I started to read the first few chapters of Catching Fire, hindi rin ako nakapag-tu-tulog. I have to say that the novels were unputdownable, despite the violence and/or the promise of it.
It took me only another two months to wait for the final book. Ung ibang mga fans ng series, taon ang binilang para lang sa paglabas ng last two installments.
And so I went to the launch. It's a long weekend naman, at may oras pa kami ni 'be bukas dahil holiday (National Heroes Day).
When I arrived at the venue, pagod at gutom na 'ko. Naligaw kasi ako, dahil ang akala ko, sa National Bookstore ng Galleria ang launch. Hindi pala. Sa NBS Bestsellers.
Kakaiba ang Bestsellers. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita. Sana may ganito rin sa Makati para mas happy. Malaki siya at maliwanag. 'Di tulad ng ibang mga specialty bookstores na naka-dim lights at masisikip ang mga aisles. Ito, walang pretentions. Parang sinasabing: "'di ba libro ang pinunta mo? Hindi sushalan? Pwes, what you see is what you'll get!"
'Un, parang ganun.
Like ko siya actually. Though as much as I want to buy a book or two, I still have a number of titles at home that I have to finish. Besides, I'll be starting with my Graduate thesis next sem. Kapag kumuha pa 'ko ng iba pang babasahin, baka kung saan na ko mapadpad. But I promised myself, I'll have 'be and I visit Bestsellers again to get ourselves a book or two. Pero saka na.
Sa mezzanine ang launch. Pagkakita ko sa stairs, ito agad ang tumambad sa akin:
Sabbeeeeh?! Kinilig naman ako. Nakakatuwa pala kapag nagma-materialize ang mga nababasa mo. First time kong makapunta sa launching ng isang international novel. Nakakatuwa. Karir kung karir!
Apart from Scholastic, other organizations also sponsored and organized this event. Isa na dito ang Flip Flipping Pages, a Filipino book club who actively supports reading, and conducts literature related activities, at New Worlds Alliance, a group of science-fiction, fantasy loving fans in the Philippines.
For those of you who haven't read the series yet, the Capitol is a state in the novels where the antagonist lives. The series is about how a country fights bureaucracy and works on attaining freedom through a post-apocalyptic revolution.
Kaya ikaw na nagbabasa, makikisigaw ka rin ng DOWN WITH THE CAPITOL!
Apart from the anti-Capitol banner, eto pa ang mga nakapaskil sa hagdanan:
Akala ko, sa novel lang ang tunggalian nina Peeta at Gale. Pati rin pala sa mga fans meron din. Dun sa mga hindi naka-ka-alam, si Gale at Peeta ay parang si Jacob at Edward lang sa Twilight series. Pero mas bet ko pa rin ang mga characters ng mga nauna. Promise.
Just for the record, I still consider the Twilight series a literary trash!
The organizers of the launch really did a great job in re-living the series. There's even a printed map of Panema, with all the 13 Districts and the Capitol.
When I arrived, there was a book discussion where Peter was one of the panelists.
May mga panelists din from publishing houses and the academe who gave comprehensive talks on the novel, pero 'un kay Peter lang talaga ang well-applauded. Walang kyeme. He really knows what the fans really want to hear. But then again, despite that fact that some of the fans do not agree with him sometimes, he was still firm with his ideas and interpretations.
Sabi ni Peter, ang isa sa mga favorite characters n'ya ay si Cinna. Ung stylist ni Katniss (heroine). Tumambling ako! It takes one fabulous reader to see how important Cinna is in the series. Also, (though his gender wasn't much explained) his character symbolizes gay power and activism. Lavehet!
But in spite of the different views on the series, the fans still listened, cheered, laughed and applauded.
Personally, I was amazed by how young most of the readers and fans were. Mga bagets. Mga bata.
Kasama nung iba ang mga magulang nila. 'Ung iba mga yaya. Napaisip tuloy ako, kung tama bang nandun ako. Parang ako yata ang pinaka-matandang fan.
At nainggit din ako. Nung bata kasi ako, wala kaming pera pambili ng libro. Hindi madaling maka-hingi ng pera kay nanay at tatay noon para lang makabili ng librong hindi naman kailangan sa school. Kaya naman kailangan kong magipon ng baon at gutumin ang sarili ko sa loob ng isang buwan para lang makakuha ng bagong labas na Sidney Sheldon nung high school ako, at Stephen King nung college na 'ko.
Kaya naman si Arvin, ayun nag-basketball na lang.
Pero OK lang rin. Nakakatuwang isiping marami na ulit na mga batang mahilig magbasa.
May isang fan na nagtaas ng kamay during the discussion. Tinanong siya kung sinong character ang paborito n'ya.
Pumunta siya sa harapan at naglitanya.
Nineteen years old pa lang siya pero ang dami na n'yang sinabi. Hindi man rooted from literary theories, he explained another look at the characters (especially Cinna and Madge's mother) and presented a theory that even I was surprised to hear.
Sana ganito si Matthew pag dating ng araw.
Sabi sa invitation ni Peter, may snacks daw sa launch. Tamang tama naman at gutom na rin ako. There's this bakeshop that sponsored the snacks. Mga cupcakes and cookies with the mockingjay picture on it. Taray!
After the discussions, nagsimula na ang mga palaro. Hinati ang grupo into two teams (Team Peeta and Team Gale). Binigyan ng mga flags ang bawat grupo. Ung mga maka-Peeta, blue, at ung maka-Gale orange.
Ako? Team Peeta ako siempre!
Nilapitan na 'ko ni Peter after the discussions. Nun lang kami unang nag-meet. Nakilala ko siya sa blog n'ya at nakilala naman n'ya ko when my bookshelf became Bookshelf No. 25 in his blog last May.
Siempre, pik-pak muna.
Matagal din kaming nakapag-chickahan. May mga natutunan din ako, tulad ng: Nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.
After the first game, the facilitators called for paired teams of Tributes. They re-enacted the Hunger Games, pero sa malinis at less-violent na paraan. Nakakatuwa. One from each pair will be the Attacker, who will post stickers at the back of other attackers, while the other team member will be the Strategist - the one who will protect the attacker from other attackers.
Nakakalerki ang laro. Pero nakakatuwa kasi parang nakita ko sina Peeta and Katniss.
Itong batang ito (in black) from District 10 ang nanalo. Grabe, she almost reminded me of Rue. :(
As much as I wanted to stay, marami pa kong kailangang gawing assignments sa bahay. Nagpaalam ako kay Peter. Magkita raw kami ulit. Sama ko na raw si 'be.
I drove back home, chanting: "Peeta! Peeta! Peeta! DOWN WITH THE CAPITOL!"
08/27/2010
08/25/2010
Panema's Revenge
At last, after waiting for almost five months, I finally have the final installment of Susan Collins' THE HUNGER GAMES series - MOCKINGJAY!
I wonder how Katniss and the survivors from District 12 and 13 will revolt against the Capitol.
08/24/2010
08/23/2010
08/22/2010
I bow and taking off my hat...
...and address them in this form: O CAT!
And they (the Jellicles) give you a wave of their long brown tails which say we'll see you again! You would meet without fail on the night of the Jellicle Ball, the Cats of the Jellicle Tribe!
So long for now....
Thanks for the Memory!
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